My friend Tim

Today I lost a friend. I hadn't seem him face-to-face for a number of years due to the simple fact that he lived in Colorado Springs and we are here, plus we have a bunch of young kids. Despite the distance, I've considered him a good friend for many years. Tim Van Tongeren was a great friend and a fantastic guy.
We met in Brighter Side Singers, the show choir at Temple City High School, the summer going into 11th grade. Tim had transferred from Maranatha High and we hit it off from the start. Well, really I think most people liked Tim from the start. He was one of those people who was totally himself and a bit of a goof, so you couldn't help but like him. I can't say exactly what it was, maybe the fact that we were both Christians, maybe that we had a number of classes together, but we became good friends.
During our senior year, we had almost every class together, and since we were seniors and got to sit wherever we wanted, we sat together in every class. I can remember reading Hamlet in senior English together, our government class election campaign slogan of "Tim and Heather Bring it Together in '92", plus the countless notes we passed between us. When you add Caven Shen into the mix, you've got the Three Musketeers. We hung out all 4th period in the choir room, when we weren't driving around town during school hours in Caven's car (please note, I NEVER ditched a class, I only had classes zero through third period). We had such fun together!
Tim was an awesome singer and super talented at mixing songs. When I watch the show Glee and see their "mash-ups", I think of Tim. He could sing anything well, whether it was country or a Disney character song. Tim introduced me to country music and to this day I can sing every song on Garth Brooks' "The Hits" CD by heart. I can't listen to country music and not think of Tim.
Tim also had a way with words. I know this might not be fair, but unlike many guys (especially in high school), Tim expressed himself so effectively, most especially in writing. He was less than excited about my choice of boyfriend back in high school, yet he continued to encourage me through the drama and at one point wrote a poem/ song that said that he would be there for me when my heart was broken. His wit helped me through more than a few heartbreaks. Tim was my constant encourager through all the drama of high school. I felt like he was one of my biggest fans and felt like he thought I was fantastic. A true friend.
During the spring of our senior year, Tim's family announced that they would be moving to Colorado. While his parents were away looking for a new home in Colorado Springs, he invited me to go with him and the friend he was staying with, Eric Vales, to watch his sister's softball game at Live Oak Park. (But that's obviously another story. : ) )
When Tim moved to Colorado the summer after graduation, I felt pretty lost. Tim and I started writing letters. Each time we wrote to each other we would beat the length of the other person's letter until we were writing letters that were more than 20 pages long (on notebook paper). I've kept those letter and look forward to finding them and rereading our 18 year old thoughts.
A couple years into Tim's time in Colorado, Tim met a girl. I knew it must be getting serious because his letters (at that point, not 20 pagers anymore) included pictures of him and Jeni. I was thrilled that he met someone special. I remember him posting the lyrics to Michael W. Smith's song "Somebody Love Me" to the mirror of his dressing room at our senior musical in 1993 and knew he ached for someone to love and love him. I was glad he found her in Colorado Springs but was a little sad to realize that he might never move back to California.
Tim and Jeni married the summer of 1996. My friend Shelly (Burton) Berry and I flew out for the wedding and met up with fellow southern Californians, Tim Hui and Eric Vales. (Gosh, there's that name again!) We had a fantastic time hanging out with our friend on the final days of him being single. The wedding was lovely (plus, there was a handsome guy named Eric who was a groomsman) and I was thrilled that Tim got his girl.
As the years went by, Tim and I communicated less often. Our lives became more busy and I wanted to be respectful of his wife, who I worried, might not be thrilled about her husband's relationship with some girl in California. We would email occasionally, exchange Christmas cards, and Tim usually made a point of visiting his old friends Eric and Heather when he came out to California. Each time he was here, Eric and I commented to each other how with Tim, it was like he had only been gone for a short time and how natural it felt to hang out with him. He was thrilled that Eric and I were getting married and flew out for our wedding in 2002. Starting in 2008, Facebook became a wonderful new way to keep in touch and be a little more aware of the everyday goings-on in each other's lives. It was fun to watch his little family grow up, see the love he had for his wife, and know a little more about his friends in Colorado. We were still a few states apart but the distance didn't seem so far.
Today, I grieve the loss of my friend. I don't understand why God called Tim home so early, but I do know why God put Tim on this Earth. For me, Tim was here to introduce me to my husband, to help me through those difficult high school years, to show me what a Christian living the life looks like, and to teach me that if I am myself, people will still love me. I am glad to know that someday I will see my friend again!
For now, I ask that you would keep Tim's family in your prayers: his parents, his sister, Caroline, his brother, Daryl, and especially his wife, Jeni, and their three young children, Blake (5), Logan (3), and Dekker (10 months).